(this post is kinda private. since this is my blog. I'm free to write things inside it. no hard feelings or being criticized by others as you're the one who choose to read bout this post. if you don't feel like doing so, feel free to click "Alt+F4" button on your keyboard).
last June 25th, marked my journey with him. a year. being a military partner.
All praises to God, cuz we've come this far. at least for a year we've made it.
cuz some people used to say: I think they're not gonna make it.
but Allhamdulillah, despite of thousands of words that go against us...
we still going strong, and even each day by day...
my love towards him keeps growing and he's the one...in whom all my respect goes to.
I bet this is from the bless of our family and friends. who always make a du'a for us.
a part of yours too lovely readers~ :)
(if you happen to read and pray for us laa kan.. LOL)
I used to think that age is one of the barrier factor. a very explicit one.
frankly said, he's a year younger than me.
And that is the strongest reason why I think in the first place,
I don't have full confidence that this is going to work.
He came to my life all by sudden, a very abrupt one.
once he proposed, he didn't asked me to be his girlfriend..
"are u willing to spend the rest of your life with me?
grow old with me?"
I nodded. agreed and let the flows come. and bring us together.
but after knowing his for quite some time, I think... so far he's the most matured guy that I ever met.
thus gone my hypothesis, age is just a number.
the fact is, how you handle your life deters to which extend you can look up onto your life.
being with him...
I can never expected a lovey dovey thing from him. a very stern man.
He did care,but seems he didn't know how to show it that much.
he just a type like that.
not a very expressive one, in which totally vice versa with me.
even to see him smiling, that's a very rare to find.
texts and calls... wasn't a main duty for me.
he still in his junior year when i first meet him and being with him..
in which i do learn a lot. countless thing. we made our pace together.
more to come.
grow up to be strong girl, entitled as a navy daughter used to teach me...
and thought that I'm bold enough to be with him.
by thought and claiming myself.. how I understand this military life enough.
i do expect some consequences..cuz I live with it.
for sure,
i'll never be able to spend a lot of time with him like others did with their partner.
i will not have a lot of chances to meet him due to his work.
i have to bear with all the changes and plan that might be cancel.. the very last minute.
but one thing that I'm sure still I can't figure it out how up until now...
is how much my mental will be strong enough all of these things?
the reality is, it was beyond my imagination.
I did cry, for almost all the times. almost give up.
but he's there to hold me and give his best support for me to lean on.
never leave me, always have faith in me and put a very high trust on me.
along the way.. I bet there are some times...
he know that not all women are meant for this. some may have quit. and walked away with another guy.
he know that this girl might look up for someone else that may always available for her.
he know that those possibilities are there.
he never give me any conditions to live with.
as everything is under my control. my right to do whatever I wanted.
he charmed me with feelings of responsibility.
life and love isn't always a bed of roses.
isn't always full with lots of sweet things.
but once he really show me how much he loved me,
once I know that he did something just for my sake
and i didn't know bout it and keep blaming him all the way,
i have nothing but tears to respond.
he willingly introduce me to his family... to show how much he wants this relationship seriously.
warmly welcomed by his family, was one of the best thing ever happen in my life.
getting used to his nephews and nieces, surrounded by the siblings.
what more i could asked?
happiness.
indeed, always remind me and guided me to be his wife, though he's not perfect,
but his imperfectness completes me.
all these while...what i can see is his true colors.
when he's angry. yes, he'll show that he's angry.
when he's not in the mood, yeah there you go.. expect the unexpected.
being scolded? yeah been there too.
talking in a very harsh mode? done that as well.
for short, he is a very predictable man.
but I rarely and seldomly understand him that much.
cuz I failed to read his mind.
and I need to think of myself whenever he talk and 'lectures' me.
and after a year of nurturing me...
I've become a better person, stronger than before and still hold on where I should belong to.
To MNI,
thank you for the love and the affection you had given me.
thank for bear with this stubborn, childish girl up until now.
hope we get more blessing and Allah ease our way.
and tomorrow... my real deployment begins.
he's away to Lumut for a few weeks.
he's away to Lumut for a few weeks.
people easily said, he'll be away for just a little time only.don't act like you'll never see him again.
but no contact at all, I could do nothing but keep and non-stop praying.
O Allah, The Most Merciful..The Most Benevolent,
keep him safe in Your protection.
make easy of his duty, make him strong and safely return.
give him the best that within his capability.
AMIN.
He asked me to promised him.
to wait until he come back.
I will.
InsyaAllah.
"Sayang, ada jodoh kita jumpa lagi." <-------- this is the favorite quote.
each time when we waves goodbye to each other.
i'll wait for you.
here.
patiently.
the end.
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